ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
