No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
