thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel great
I just peed on a car
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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