My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
