Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
