smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize