I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
they need to just BURY HIM!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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