I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
