Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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