At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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