Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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