I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
