I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize