i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
tell me about the eggs
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
