you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
