At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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