Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
