The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
