The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
