Your face is a jimmy john
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
