Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
