Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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