Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
