i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
