That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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