He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
