I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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