Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
