? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
