I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
