I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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