I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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