You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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