Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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