i think i scared a bird with my dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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