Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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