I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
