So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
