you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize