the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize