i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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