I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
