i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
