So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
