Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
