Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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