Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
