Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
