i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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