I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
