3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
