He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
