No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
