I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
