My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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