i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
