What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
