i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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