u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
