i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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