She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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