I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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