"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize