We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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