Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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