at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
